15 Mar Finally, this is how to live your life on your own terms
Have you ever wondered what your life could be like if you could live on your own terms?
Have you ever wondered how far you could go if impossible is nothing?
Think about it, who would you be now if you cannot fail?
Some people are held prisoners by their own imagination. They’ve resigned to living day-to-day. Their experiences of life are replete with difficulties, disappointments, hardships, and pain. This is not all to life. Life can be absolutely wonderful – and it should be – when you begin to live on your own terms!
First, define your purpose and set 10x goals
“The secret of success is constancy to purpose.” – Benjamin Disraeli
The concept of purpose is rather troubling for a lot of people around the world. They’re not sure whether it’s possible for someone to know exactly why s/he was born. They live by whatever makes them happy. They have no direction and focus.
Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve had the opportunity of coaching several young professionals and entrepreneurs around the world – teaching them how to unlock their potentials and live their best lives, now. In a mentoring session with some Mastercard Foundation Scholars over the weekend, I endeavored to explain this concept (of purpose) to them. I told them that a man or woman actually starts to live when that one comes in contact with his or her purpose. Nevertheless, there’s no rule book that defines a person’s purpose. You have to find it.
Your purpose is what you were born for – it’s your mission for life! If you don’t know what it is, then you don’t have any direction in your life. You’re like a man who’s climbed a tall ladder only to realize in the end that it’s leaning against the wrong wall.
Your life will be out of course.
You’d be caught in the thick of thin things.
The easiest way to discover your purpose is by figuring out what you’re passionate about. Your passion gives you joy but when you use your passion for the greater good, that gives you a purpose.
Further, if you want to live on your own terms, you have to set goals that exceed your imagination. If your goal is not 10x what you could do on your own; if you could connect all the dots of your life, then you’re not thinking big enough!
When you set a 10x goal, you get committed. That means you’ve reached your point of no return – it’s either 100% in or nothing. In the words of Benjamin Hardy, “the fundamental core of the word “decision” means to literally cut-off alternative options. When you choose one thing, you simultaneously close the door on many others.”
What are you going to do with your life? How far do you want to go? The choice is yours!
Second, develop a discontent for mediocrity and mundanity
Tony Robbins says: “People have an endless list of things they believe they should do or should follow through on. But what happens when you decide something is an absolute “must?” What happens when you cut off any other possibility than you succeeding — when you decide that you are either going to find a way to make something happen or you’ll create the way yourself?
When you raise your standards and turn “should” into “must,” you are making an inner shift to take control over the quality of your life. Any area you are not getting what you want is because you haven’t raised your standards.”
A lot of people are comfortable with an average life. They’re helmed-in and pinned down by the pains and pangs of neglect. They have a laundry list of excuses for why they couldn’t achieve their goals.
It’s time to excavate yourself from the ordinary. It’s time to transcend the norm, chart a new course, and set the pace!
Go for excellence in your life, work, and relationships. Be an example of excellence. Invest in yourself. Saturate your mind and environment with quality information. If all you consume is junk, your life and results will not be any different – garbage in, garbage out.
The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn. — Alvin Toffler
Become intentional with personal education. Get absorbed in the process and make your life a practical life. In this era – where knowledge is synonymous with money and power – you cannot afford to be uninformed. “The value of knowledge is increasing while the value of physical things is dropping fast.” As the world gets more complex, you must develop the skill for learning and compounding knowledge to remain functional.
MUST READ: 3 Proven Ways to Deal With Impostor Syndrome
When you understand who you really are, you’d never settle for anything that’s not excellent! Even if you’re the last man on the block before long, you’d become number one!
Here’s a pro tip: move from good to excellent. Deep down, you have something that’s yearning for expression. Live what’s within you!
Third, create massive value and give more than you take
“The world gives to the givers and takes from the takers.” — Joe Polish
If you want to live your life on your own terms, you must consistently create massive value and give more than you take. Every successful person knows this: The secret to long-term success is creating excessive value. They work from a point of transformation and not transaction. They’re not trapped by me, myself, and I small-mindedness that often leads many to greed and unhealthy competition.
Become an artist and a master of your craft. Think differently.
Writing in an Entrepreneur article, self-development author and business coach, Brian Tracy captures 7 ways to create value in your job, business, or products for greater success. Says Tracy, “when you begin thinking of increasing the speed at which you deliver your product or service, improving the quality, add value at every stage of production, increasing the convenience for your customers, giving better customer service, catering to changing lifestyles and trends and finding ways to reduce the actual cost, you will be astonished at the incredible number of ideas and possibilities that exist around you.”
Benjamin Hardy, best selling author of Willpower Doesn’t Work unpacks this further: “When your motivation is to give, you’ll often get insights into how you can improve your relationships… You’ll have more ideas about how you can improve other people’s lives and businesses. You’ll start contributing more, which will lead to far more opportunities and deeper relationships. People will come to love and trust you. Your work will be motivated by a higher cause and thus will be far more inspired and impactful.”
Last, create “A-Game” partnerships
The new industrial convergence is creating more value and opportunities for businesses to adapt to technological and societal advances. However, navigating this fast-changing and continually blurring environment requires immense agility and forward-thinking. More than ever, collaboration and teamwork have become paramount for progressive growth and success.
If you want to live your life on your own terms, you must surround yourself with people whose insights can help you make quantum leaps in your business or career. “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”
Everyone that achieved success or any form of a breakthrough had help along the way. They had people who supported and held them accountable to their goals. I have written more about how to create “A-Game” partnerships in this article.
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You can live your life on your own terms. You can and you should! If you followed the steps I shared with you in this article, they could help you put in the pieces to actualize in a year what might take others decades to do. You’ll transform your life. You’ll become a mystery to others.
But remember this: every step of the journey towards living your life on your own terms will need focus and intention. While I cannot promise it’ll be easy, I can assure you, however, that it’s worth every sacrifice. Go for it!
Do you need help getting your career, personal life, or business together? Schedule a 10X growth strategy session with me. Start here
Tom-Chris Emewulu is the Founder and President of Stars From All Nations, an education company that unlocks African youth’s potential through EPIC events and an immersive career accelerator called ReadyForWork.Africa. A business strategist and trainer, Tom-Chris enjoys helping entrepreneurs and rising professionals to be successful and has consulted for brands such as the MasterCard Foundation, GIZ, British Council, among others. He is the author of the classic self-help book Breaking the Limits. Forbes, DW, Business Insider, SABC, and other publications have featured his works. Tom-Chris is a thought leader on youth development, social entrepreneurship, technological innovation, and the future of work. You can find him on Social Media via @tomchrisemewulu.